I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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