I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
