dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
