I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
