I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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