I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
