Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
