Is it because I queefed?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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