Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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