just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've blown a few things in my day
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
