Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I had to cum in my sink.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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