nut hugger
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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