Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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