Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
