brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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