Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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