I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
