I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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