As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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