my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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