Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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