I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
