i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
