Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Holy shit dude........stairs
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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