We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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