Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize