he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
