There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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