i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
