i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
