whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
