Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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