i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
