I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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