I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
