bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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