just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
