i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
