There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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