Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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