Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
