We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Green mimosas i think yes
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
