Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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