So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I did not marry a roomba.
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