I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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