Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
