I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
