I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
