The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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