I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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