You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
