I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
