He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
