from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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