I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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