So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
how drunk are you?
Several
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize