Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
