He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
