just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We got so high we made milksteak
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
