roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
