Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
