I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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