Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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