What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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