just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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