if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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