please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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