i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
