I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
is this the sara with the beer cane?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
