So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
