I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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