Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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