I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
