Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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